Dylan Ebenezer takes a look at the new kits in the Cymru Premier

Have you seen the Manchester Utd ‘zebra’ kit? Have you had to deep clean your eyes after witnessing such a monstrosity?

Thankfully the Cymru Premier has escaped this mind-bending graphic madness. So, join me on a sartorial spin from south to north as we check out the new kits.

Cardiff Met

If Elliot Evans and his silky skills don’t make you dizzy – these shirts will. Hip or hypnotic? Bright – brash and quite possibly, brilliant.

Look into my eyes – you are feeling sleepy.

Barry Town

Ladies and gentlemen. We have a sash. And we have a stunning kit. Those colours as well. Is there a better combination than yellow and blue? The answer is no, by the way.

The all red away kit has a bit of baggage after the heavy defeat in Europe. But the fact that nobody saw anything because of the mist means it gets a second chance.

Pen-y-Bont

This doesn’t make you as dizzy as the MET kit – but those fuzzy stripes have potential. Looks like a Richter Scale reading. Or a lie detector test.

Do you like this kit?

Yes.

Are you sure?

No.

Blue and White always works though. As does the black and gray away. Smart. Solid.

Haverfordwest

What do we want?

Stripes.

Where do we want them?

Everywhere.

Different sized stripes – different colours – even going in different directions. Somehow it works. Just.

Away kit is much simpler. And better.

Aberystwyth

 

It’s the same shirt as last season – but the black shorts and socks have transformed the look. Aberystwyth are The Black and Greens. The kit is Black and Green. Simple.

The main colour blends into black on both shirts. Like watching the sun disappear over the horizon as you enjoy a pint on the Prom. Sort of.

Newtown


A simple and solid showing. As usual. But look again. A pattern has appeared on the shirt. A hint that something more exotic lurks under the surface. Like finding out your Aunty Mary is on Tinder. Disturbing but fascinating.

Bala Town

Black and white. Simple. Stunning. But, there’s something about the collar that bugs me. No idea what, though.

The all red away kit means the crew from Merseyside will be happy. Apart from the Evertonians.

The New Saints

Celtic…Sporting Lisbon…Buckie Thistle. The green and white works. Hoops. Happiness.

The thin green stripes on the away shirt are unexpectedly pleasing as well.

Cefn Druids

Black and white? Or grey and white? Do the stripes go straight down? Or diagonal? We really should be told. I think.

Please tell me they’ve kept the away kit from last season…please, please, please…

Nooooooooooooooooooooo!

Connah’s Quay

What kit would you like, Mr Morrison?

Red shirts. Red shorts. Red socks.

Away?

Black shirt. Black shorts. Black socks.

Any other little design? It’s in the price.

Stick a white stripe on the side of the shirts.

No messing. And no doubt that the black kit is one of the best in the league. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Flint Town

Exactly the same kit template as Penybont. But doesn’t work as well. Why? Penybont have gone for a blue collar. Flint have gone for a white one. It’s the little things in life that make all the difference. I might be thinking too hard about all this by now.

All green is more than all right for the away kit, though.

Caernarfon Town